I read a post the other day where a blogger wrote about the experience of coming out to those around him. He knew that the entire situation would come as a shock to some but he wanted to affirm that he was still the same person that he had always been. Who he chose to love would not consume all of him and override everything that he used to be. It was simply one part of who he was.
That particular post spoke to me so much that I felt the urge to comment on it, and I echoed a few of his sentiments.
I absolutely feel and resonate with everything you’ve said. Especially the sentiment that although being gay is a part of who I am, it has never fully defined me, just as a heterosexual person’s relationship does not solely define who they are. No one is ever just so and so’s boyfriend or girlfriend. So I often find it hard to come to grips that now, the color of my skin and who I choose to love will be the two defining characteristics about me. When really, I’d love to be known for my love of reading, or my clever writing, or my compassionate nature or the depth of my friendship. I am still each and every one of those things and you are still the sum of all your parts. I guess who we love will simply be seen by those who love us as another jewel on the crown of our awesome natures. I agree, this is how God designed us. Maybe through the blessing of unconventional love we can see more clearly how to love all of the universe’s beings. We can be an example of grace. Wishing you bravery and love.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about where I am in my life and where I would like to go, what direction my life is taking and who I would like to be. What do I want my impact to be on this Earth? I hate to sound too much like poor, ill-fated Achilles, but every one of wants to be immortal in some way. Each one of us wants to leave some kind of legacy, and I’ve been thinking about what I’d like mine to be, even in my own quiet way. I may never be the type to lead activism marches or to make waves and ripples in the political ocean, but my everyday life can be an example and a vessel for grace if I let it.
I’m realizing more each day that this deck of cards that I’ve been given, and the unique opportunity that I have to find love in some of the most unconventional ways can be a true blessing. I am able to connect with those who are off of the beaten path. To be able to share faith, life, and the experience of being with others who are looking for a connection that they might not find otherwise…that’s the kind of legacy I’d love to leave. I’d like to be an instrument of the kind of love and compassion that doesn’t choose people based on external designations. It’s an aspiration anyway.
It takes a lot to get out of my own head enough to really reach out and offer myself up to that kind of connection. But it feels like each day my conviction grows stronger. And at the end of the day, if we know that we have helped at least one person I think we feel more fulfilled and successful than ever before.
For all of us out there who are struggling, dealing with this rocky road called life, I wish you love and bravery. I hope we all come to the wonderful conclusion that no matter what we are going through…there will always be at least one person to understand us. Learning that in itself has been a miracle for me. I want to be a miracle for someone else.