Gone…

A late night musing about love and all its intricacies…

***

Dylan thought Ashley was asleep and she was more than careful as her shirt brushed across her face with little more than a whisper. Ashley’s back was facing her, but even so, the way it curved and dipped was beautiful. She was beautiful. She was so beautiful that Dylan was temped to shrug out of her clothes and climb back into bed behind her. To ease herself with Ashley’s warmth and comfort her heart as Ashley’s unique scent surrounded her and filled her senses.

She was captivating, and a balm for Dylan’s soul. But she couldn’t stay. Dylan had been selfish enough as it was. She had already taken all that Ashley had to give. Dylan wasn’t sure that she could take any more from the other woman. It was long overdue that she begun giving back to Ashley. And since she couldn’t, since she thought herself too damaged, she ran. Running was something that Dylan knew. And she was actually good at it. Two things Dylan was sure were not true about her and love.

So as the sun crested on the horizon, and colored the sky a thoughtful, heavy grey, Dylan slid into her jeans and devoured Ashley one last time with her eyes. Ashley would hate her and she knew it. It was the one outcome that Dylan knew she could count on from all of this. And still, leaving stung. It shouldn’t have hurt, but it did. Dylan thought of how Ashley would cry. How Ashley would move on without her and Dylan knew it was all necessary even though it hurt her just the same. This was the right thing to do. But if that was true then why was it still so damned hard?

As Dylan looked around one last time to make sure that she had forgotten nothing, she bent close to Ashley. She inhaled her scent once more and noted the immediate effect it had on her system. She touched her lips to Ashley’s temple and felt desire and a whisper of something deeper spark and pulse beneath the surface. Dylan’s lips brushed her ear and before she left her for good, she whispered the words that Ashley had begged to hear.

“I love you…”

***

Ashley could feel her before she even realized she was awake. She felt Dylan’s breath caressing her neck. Felt the ghost of fingertips at her waist before her eyes cracked open. But once they were open, there was no denying it. Her bed was empty. The sheets cold. Dylan’s things were cleared out. Nothing was left.

Like Dylan, they were totally, and completely gone.

And she was alone…

***

Come sweetly

stab me through the shadow of an open door

Weep quietly now,

take us through the helplessness of it all

 

And I wonder as I watch you slip away somehow

wonder if the only thing that’s left is now

wonder if I ever went away

Will I ever love again

Will I ever love again

 

Oh lie to me, lie to me

tell me I’m not wasting time

oh convince me you miss me

and your heart still beats as fast as mine

tell me lies…

 

We loved it

loved it even more than we knew

we lost it

and I don’t even know what to do

tell me what to do

 

I wonder why it had to slip away somehow

I wonder if you ever want to see me now

I wonder if I’ll ever be the same

will I ever love again

will I ever love again…

 

Your eyes haunt me, taunt me

pierce straight through my heart again

will it ever end…

 

I wonder as I watch you slip away somehow

I wonder if you ever want to see me now

I wonder if I ever went away

Will I ever love again

Will I ever love again…

 

We Loved it…

We lost it…

-John Legend

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About Avery Rose

I'm a 30 year old living in my native New York...I adore the city, writing, books, tea, music, long walks and rainbows :) Aaaand What happens to a dream deferred? In my opinion it gets sucked up dry and spat out as a gnarled petrified mass of what the heart used to be...so I'm also coming out as a writer who wrestles with questions of identity, reality, race and even sexuality. I'm having fun finally writing my own story. Feel free to help :)

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